Assorted junk

jessicaloribeth:

We’ve all heard the saying “the customer is always right.” According to phrases.org, this expression was popularized in the early 20th century by London department store founder Harry Gordon Selfridge. The phrase was meant to promote high-quality customer care in an increasingly service-based industry. Those of us who have worked in that industry, however, have likely encountered various customers who do not deserve the high-quality care the phrase promotes. The most horrifying customers I have dealt with tend to fall into three categories: The Entitled, The Ungrateful and The Downright Idiotic. My various experiences with these insufferable patrons have shown me just how wrong the customer can be.

First up are The Entitled. These are the one who live by the phrase “the customer is always right”. Extremely high maintenance and impossible to satisfy, these people seem to believe that an employee’s only purpose on this earth is to serve their every need. Before I started working at Petco, I never would have thought that a 90-year-old woman living alone with her cat could make me cry like a little baby. One day, a customer called and asked me to put a cat blanket on hold for her to pick up the next morning. I calmly informed her that I would be happy to set it aside until the store closed that evening, but that Petco company policy prevented me from keeping it on hold over night. Suddenly, the kind old lady on the other line turned evil and hissed “It better be there” before slamming down the phone. The next day, the woman came in to purchase her blanket (with her cat on a pink sparkly leash I might add). While there were still several of those EXACT BLANKETS available, the woman completely lost her mind when she discovered the specific one she put on hold was no longer set aside for her. I tried to explain the situation once again, but she let loose a string of profanity so severe that I was shocked into silence. She called me a rude and incompetent little bitch and demanded to speak to my manager, promising she would do everything within her power to get me fired. This experience taught me an important lesson in customer service – never get between an entitled crazy cat lady and her pink fuzzy blanket.

Next we encounter The Ungrateful, those stingy, selfishcustomers who assume that tipping is optional. These people don’t seem to understand that working as a waitress at a PF Changs in Massachusetts meant that the amount on my paycheck was only enough to cover state taxes. Since my paychecks were virtually voided each month, my sole source of income as a starving college student was the tips I walked away with each night. But despite this, there were still some people who seemed to think that my supreme with and exceptional service came purely out of the goodness of my heart and that it deserved no compensation. The worst of these were the customers that you really invested in and actually genuinely enjoyed – until you went to pick up their check and discovered that they didn’t appreciate your company or extra attention enough to help you pay your bills. I remember one time when I spent over an hour getting to know a young couple, bonding over our similar interests and tossing witty banter back and forth. After ending their meal with a free dessert, I felt deeply and personally betrayed when I discovered that they left me absolutely nothing. Speaking of taking it personally, I once had a professor from my own school leave me a $1.14 tip on a $40 check. Since working in the restaurant business, I have vowed that unless my waiter physically or verbally attacks me during a meal, I will be sure to leave at least 15%.

Finally, we deal with the most infuriating customer of all – The Downright Idiotic. These are the people whose dim-witted remarks and questions make me really nervous about the fate of the human race. “Excuse me, where can I find the hamburgers on this menu? And can I please get a side of ketchup?” “Why certainly sir, the hamburgers can be found on this PF Changs China Bistro menu between the chicken fried rice and the Mongolian beef. And I’m sure the large supply of ketchup that we keep in the back would taste delicious with our pork dumplings.” When dealing with these customers, it takes every ounce of self-control that I possess just to smile and nod, instead of smacking some sense right into their vacant heads.

Unfortunately, most of us have had to work in the service industry at some point or another, so we are all too familiar with those customers severely lacking in compassion and brain cells. Every time I complain about spending my summer taking classes instead of getting tan and sleeping late, I remind myself that my college education may be the one thing that prevents me from being forced to tolerate The Entitled, The Ungrateful and The Downright Idiotic every day for the rest of my life.