Assorted junk

So I’m helping these customers at Yoppi. Nice family, they get their stuff and leave. I walk around to clean, I clean, I’m walking back when I hear the door open. So I turn around and this 60ish year old foreign lady walks straight into my face and asks, very genially, something that sounds like “co-ng?” I’m baffled at not understanding her and having her inches from my face and I go “excuse me?”

She repeats “co-ng!” and I’m like wtf. I was like “comb? She wants a comb?” I ask again “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” She says it slower “conme” and I go “Oh! A cone! What kind would you like?” An she points to the cake cone, so I get her one. While I’m doing that, she goes, “Actually, get me two.” And I’m like “okay” and hand her the first one and go for another napkin and she goes “No no, just put it in here.” So she hands me the cone back and I stack another cake come in the first one and hand it to her. She gets her yogurt and walks past all the toppings to me without looking at any of them and goes “I’m looking for almonds.” So I direct her back to where she just came from, where she promptly dumps almonds all over the counter.

She then tries to weight the cone. We have yogurt cups with holes punched in the bottoms that we flip upside-down, but the cone won’t fit. So I tell her to take the napkin off. She goes “oh” and continues as if I said nothing. I told her again “it’s too big with the napkin” and she again appears not to have heard me. Then she looks at it and I say “you need to unwrap the napkin” and she finally does it.

So she pays and I ask her for a frequent buyer number and she doesn’t have one so I ask her if she’d like to start one. In response she tells me in her accent some convoluted story about not living here but maybe in the future she’ll live here and she can’t find houses and she asked me if I knew of any houses in Walnut Creek on the market and I was like lolwtf “No idea” and she starts wrapping it up and walking away and says something similarly convoluted about coming back if she ever settles here and ended by saying “I LOVE you!” before walking away finally.

I was like uuhhhhhhhh wtf just happened.

On the upside of today, a group of college kids came in smelling strongly of weed and this really cute girl gave me a $2 tip and a flirty smile.

(Source: fyeahdisneyparkswarthog)